Used to do

17 February 2008

(i know its late for a valentine's blog)

Another Valentine's day comes to me and leaves me without me giving much of a shit to what I should do about it, because I used to do something about it.

Valentine's Days never really told many stories for me. It doesn't tell the story of me and my girl sitting in front of a movie screen, nibbling on popcorn, and not really giving a damn about what the movie is about. Being too busy watching the beauty of each other's eyes. It doesn't tell the story of me and my girl running and laughing on an open feild, pretending to be athletic enough to catch frisbees, ending up falling to the ground still laughing. And it sure as hell doesn't tell the story of me and my girl eating bland food that peculiarly tastes good over dim candle light that seems just enough to show how madly in-love  we are. In the first place, it does NOT tell the story of me and my girl, or any girl for that matter.

I used to plan for the fucking day (Fucking day, seems perfectly apt), writing love letters and all that shit. I used to write love letters for friends to give to their girlfriends, that made me feel awful. I used to write for girls I like too, made me feel worse, never gave any of them any of those, for some reason. I wrote poems too, but I do that even if it isn't Valentine's anyway. I used to think of how I would walk up to these dieties and give them a letter, or treat them to ice cream, or simply offer to walk them home. I used to plan that kind of shit, not anymore though, not much anyway. I never did any of those things I planned too, I just keep planning. I know, its stupid, its cowardly, its the kind of thing a torpe would do. I know, you actually thought I didn't know? i do.

I don'y know why I don't do those anymore, perhaps I ran out of dieties to worship. Perhaps I got bored of worshiping cold stone statues (figuartively, of course). I want to do them again, but I made a promise, I broke a lot of them but I'm keeping this one.